Funny shit you've heard......

Funny shit you've heard......

while on a night out?

me n paul were walking in town one night when we passed a total toffy nosed twat of a student who was on the phone,

we walked past him and all of a sudden heard (in the poshest of posh voices) 'yes daddy!! its a nightclub.... on a boat!!!!!'

we were just bent double with laughter like but the thing was he sounded so amazed by it all!

whats the funniest thing you've ever heard someone else say while your out?

Some of the banter in the promise toilets

Browny once was ranting on about how his granny says hot cross buns look like little blue bottle flies or something I was in creases with the stuff he was coming out with

One night someone was running around screaming about 'pie face pie face' too. I didnt get it but it made me laugh.

I wish i ahd a recording of some of the toilet banter

Recon you would be safe with a video phone in full swing in the toilets like ?

i was in my local in sunderland with all me mates from over there. There was about 17/18 of us just havin a few pints and a game of pool b4 we went into town. There was another group of lads standing @ the bar and one kept staring over givin my mate hacky looks. My mate was getting pretty peeved by this nd when the other lads were leaving he souted "OW, FISHCAKE WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOKING AT" the reason it was so funny was because all of us thought it was going to kick off, but when he came out with "FISHCAKE" we couldn't stop laughing, we were litrally rolling on the floor with laughter.

overheard a fresher rah in Jesmond say "so does it snow up here?"

idiot

Re: Funny shit you've heard......

Was class like that one!!

was in the percy arms last year for the start of a mates stag do, the toon was playing but it wasnt being broadcast so it was just the scores being shown up on sky sports - so anyway the toon scored and were about 2-1 up, everyone started cheering apart from this litle old man in a chair - about 10 minutes later i turned round to see him looking at the tv - he raised his had and shouted 'haway the toon' top of his voice while looking dead pleased with himself - the whole bar just turned round and ripped him for the rest of the day

Oh, nearly forgot about this one mate:

You saying you were gonna put a 3 litre into ya Corsa :laugh:

Made me laugh though!!!

see...........

Oooooo, nearly forgot this one Lee:

Chef saying he was gonna be 100% faithful

he doe's ok for an ugly ginger scottish bloke like

Mr hanky the christmas poo is pretty funny shit

i know:blush:

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Coz she's got no arms joke is the funniest thing I ever heard.

My mate just telt me a worse one than that but im not saying it on here!

Would that be the following?

What do you do after raping a deaf girl?
Break her fingers so she cant tell anyone.