awesome joke a man walks into a bar with a giraffe. after 10 pints, the giraffe collapses. Embarrassed, the man tries to sneak out, leaving the giraffe behind. The bartender shouts "oi! you can't leave that lying there!" Man says....."it's not a lion...it's a giraffe" and walks out. Thankyou and goodnight.
A couple of my fave groaners. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why Men Have Better Friends: Women's Friends: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The husband called his wife's ten best friends. None of them had seen her or knew what he was talking about Mens Friends: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room. She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?" Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?" "Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
all that last joke for that ... aye ok canny funny OMG Man having a drink in the bar one night and the bar men tells him he's had too much and has to go home.... after a bit of convinsing he gets off his chair and falls to the floor ... he makes a few attempts to get back to his feet but cant so decides to crawl on his way home he makes more attempts to get to his feet but fails and decides to keep on crawling ... eventually he gets into the house drags himself upstairs to bed and goes to sleep .. the next morning his wife says you were mortal last night .. he replys .. how do you get that ... she says because you forgot your wheelchair
Reminds me of a joke where the woman has a glass eye so can whistle and blow at the same time! Dont norm quote myself either!!
Who is the most popular man at a nudist beach? The one who can carry 2 cups of tea and 12 donuts Who is the most popular female at a nudist beach? The one who can eat the last donut.
