Chinese Massage.... Well…. I can’t really believe it but ive had my first ever massage, oriental style! Ive been in the far east for a few days now and yesterday i got a 5 day visa from hong kong and got 2 nights hotel booked in Shenzhen, China which is right on the border just out of Hong Kong. So the hotel im staying in, which for 32 pounds per night is more like a 150 pound per night one in the UK, has on the 35th floor, a sauna. Im feeling a bit tired, acheing a bit from carrying heavy bags around so I think ‘ll sit in the sauna for a bit’. So I make my way up the 3 elevators and im faced with a counter with 3 chinese people looking very imposing’ ‘im here to use the sauna?’ I ask … ‘you use sauna and massage?’ im asked – to which I tighten up at the thoughts of ‘massage and foreign countries and what the word means to us might be something completely different to them. ‘no, just the sauna… how much is it?’ hoping its free. ’58 yuan’ (4 pounds) Im a bit gutted at this point since 4 quid to sit in a sauna for 20 minutes is a bit steep but I need some relaxation so I agree. Im led to a changing room with a big open window…. BIG OPEN WINDOW where im gestured to get undressed. Im not even given a towel at this point and the attendant is standing in front of me, not moving… So at this point, feeling decidedly british I ask for a towel and then … when the attendant still doesn’t move from standing a meter away from me…. Shoo him away so I can get undressed….. in front of the BIG OPEN WINDOW. Eventually im in the sauna, and the attendant comes in every 5-10 minutes to hand me either cold flannels or Dixie cups full of cold, muddy tasting water. Im determined to get my moneys worth so I sit there for a full 30 minutes till my heart is jumping out my chest. Somewhere in between baking my internal organs I think…. ‘You know what,…. I think ill have a massage…. I don’t care if it’s a mincer bloke or a fat woman in a skin tight matrons costume… I neeeeeed one, I deserver one..’ I leave the sauna and am pushed towards a shower where I take one. When im out I say ‘ill have a massage’ to which im ushered down a number of darkened corridors till we arrive to a little room with curtains across the windows, cheesy Chinese music on a small stereo and a bed in the middle of the room covered with towels. There are handles attached to the ceiling…. The attendant leaves after making me change into some light brown nylon shorts and a funky dressing gown top with a cord he ties around me. At this point im wondering quite what this massage is gonna be like! A minute later… some tiny….. fit Chinese girl walks in and gets me to lie face down on the bed… then what can only be described as the most agonising but at the same time most amazing pounding of every muscle, joint and bonee in my body takes place….. yes…. Every… muscle. Fingers were jammed into my vertebrae, all joints twisted…. Kneaded, slapped…. Everything. It was mint. Ive had what people think are ‘massages’ before but this really was something else. I have a new found respect for anyone know really knows how to do this stuff properly because its head and shoulders above anything you could ever imagine. All I can say was that the composure of a zen monk had to be maintained at some points and I had to fill my mind with images of Margret Thatcher and Rick Waller in order to remain ‘un-fettered’ at the closer moments… which brought new meaning to the words ‘chinese juggling balls’…. Literally. An hour went really quickly and I was asked if I wanted another hour which I turned down out of fear that I would end up being charged a small fortune at the end of this. My body felt pounded, pummelled… and…. AMAZING. During the massage the Chinese girl brought me her English language books to have a look at, and through the internationally recognised system of hand waving and broken English… I told her I was 25 and she said she was 23, and that yes, she should turn the heater down cause I was starting to sweat. The damage for a full hours massage, the sauna and tipping the Gay attendant, who insisted and standing next to me at all times, clothed or not, was…. 17 quid. ABSOLUTE BARGAIN. I stumbled out onto the streets of Shenzhen a new, yet wiser man. RECOMMENDED!
aye the chinese like there massages to be brutal! when i was in thailand they were telling us how the chinese are never happy cos they're not rough enough with them! glad you're having fun!
Got the travelling bug again now like - I was bricking it a bit going from Hong Kong into china with all the back and forth to get visas in offices... and seeing everything go from looking rich on the hong kong side... to having beggars with no legs shuffling up to me on the chinese side at the taxi stop... lol. But once you get past that initial fear bit where you just want the easy comfort zone, and get yourself into 'accept anything' mode - its great. I want MORE now!!
i know how you feel...if i can i'm off to barbados in the summer with 2 of my girl friends....1's half barbadian so knows it really well....i'll get to go to the places where tourists don't usually go!
