Derogatory Ramblings These have had me in stitches! Some old - but some new ones to me. Class. Sorry lasses She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back Looks like she's been dooking for apples in a chip pan Had more hands up her than sooty! She's got a face like a dog lickin pish off a nettle. It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe! She's got a face that could make an onion cry. I wouldn't ride her into battle. Everyone has a right to be ugly, but she abuses the privilege I wouldn't do her with a rusty pole Mair chins than a chinese phone book She smells like an alkies carpet She has seen more japseyes than an oriental optician It's like shaggin a pail of water. It's like shaggin the sleeve off a wizards cloak! She's killed more cocks than a fowl butcher Fanny like a ripped out fireplace Face like a sand blasted tomato Arse like a bag of washing She sweats like a dog in a Chinese restaurant She's seen more helmets than Hitler Face like a stuntman's knee She's got a fanny like a badly packed kebab Like opening the window and shagging the night She's seen more cockends than weekends A left her with a face like a painter's radio Fanny like a clowns pocket Fanny like a Hippo's yawn She's that ugly not even a sniper would take her out I bet she's got a fanny like a pub carpet More pricks than a second hand dartboard. Face like a blind joiners thumb She's done more lengths than Duncan Goodhew She's been shot over more times than Sarajevo Even the tide wouldn't take her out Got more finger prints on her than Scotland Yard Handled more balls than Dino Zoff Pish flaps like John Waynes saddle bags She had a pair of flaps on her like a gutted trout A c*nt like a burst couch A face like she's been ram raiding on scooters She's had more seamen than Saltcoats She's seen more stiffs than Quincy! She's seen more cokes than a bottle of bacardi! Cocked more times than Elmer Fudds shotgun The hippo Yawn one is a classic! Any more?
