I need some advice here.. my sister is only 14..

I need some advice here.. my sister is only 14..

..but she has a 16 (he looks about 18) year old boyfriend who i know she's had sex with and i've just found more evidence that she's a dirty little slag and i dunno what to do or who to tell.. I stumbled accross a little book that fell open on a page and instantly my eyes filtered out the words 'shag, poke, suck and cock' and i'm not best pleased to be honest. The book is obviously a little '2 me 2 u book' with her and her m8 that they discuss boys in and what they're planning. I don't want to tell my parents about the situation because I doubt it would make them sleep well at night knowing their lovely 14 year old daughter is getting more action than half the prostitutes in amsterdam.

Apart from that, she's turned into a right little bitch since the charva craze caught on from about (her) year 7 and all her friends are doing the same so its not like any of them are giving her good tips on how to live life as a decent 14 year old. She drinks, not sure about smoking but i had my suspicions a few weeks ago, she looks like a boy with her rockports on and bright white tracksuit pants with a stripey fred perry jumper and has a foul mouth when she thinks none of the family are around.

I also found out she'd been for a pregnacy test a while ago, and then the other day i picked the phone up to check if it was free and heard an answer service from the doctors and she instantly hung up.. but obviously i could still here the 'we are open hours bla blah' message. God even knows what that was about

I dunno what's going on and i feel i'm going to have to ask her but judging by her tendancy to shout like hell whenever she hears something she doesnt want to, I don't fancy my chances of having a useful conversation with her that will stop any of this fucking ridiculous behaviour. I understand bringing it up on a forum like this is a bit odd but its the only place i could think of asking for advice from decent people that aren't going to go straight to my sister and slap her a few times.

:spangled:

Any advice? or been in the same situation? it worries me that in 10 years time she's going to be crammed in a 2 bedroom council house with 7 kids and a husband that disappeared after running out of vodka 3 years earlier.

Thats terrible Ill tell your rents!

You should try and talk to her first. Its a better idea than telling ur parents - do you think they have any idea about what shes doing?

Geordie Jon wrote a book called "My Sister from Hell" maybe he can help?

Put the book somewhere where one of your parents can find it

If you talked to her first she might realise shes acting like a nob without you having to tell ur mum and dad

14 is a terrible terrible age!!

The best thing ever posted on this board

poor choice of words!!

Apart from locking her in her room there is not a lot ya can do really her life her life to ruin just a gutter you have to sit back and let her do it

Maybe a quiet word saying please dont screw ya life up but reading her stuff is an invasion of privacy regardless of what she is up to

one other option is to have a stern word with the paedophile boyfriend and threaten him with violence or police action. he could end up in the big house for stat rape.

Or stove his head in anyway

and cut his balls off

Tough one really.

Know when I was 14 if my brother or even sister tried to talk to me about anything like this i'd have denied it or told them to F off.

Charming I know But at 14 you think you know everything and no one can tell you otherwise:evil:

Do you know any of her mates well enough to say something?

Maybe you should just drop a few hints that you're on to her without being to upfront then she might wisen up, hopefully

I doubt they have any idea..

I first found out when I found chat logs off her msn and i read them cos i was suspicious to start with since they probably drink more than i do.. that proved she had shagged her boyfriend.

My parents go away to the caravan a lot and leave me in charge (but say i'm not allowed anyone in the house) but if i do have people here my sister doesnt tell as long as I let her have a few people round in return.. which was fine until her boyfriend came along. One night after coming back from promise i found her asleep with him lying next to her and i kicked him out the house. I've also heard from someone else in her year that she used to be 'getting into' an 18 year old a while back etc etc.. then this book i found earlier put the cherry on the cake.

The word sex never even gets mentioned in general conversation in this house, as do swear words. It's just the way it's been since we were little and it hasn;'t changed as i wouldnt feel comfortable swearing or laughing about sex infront of my parents for some reason so it's been a bit of a shock to me that this is happening but it would send my mam n dad mental.

Having a chat about it with my sister would probably result in her screaming in protest and/or me putting my fist through my bedroom door again or if her boyfriend was there he wouldnt be for long

It's a nasty situation to be in this as it's going to cause an uproar and I'm not really a good problem solver to be honest with ya's. I'm sure you can imagine me trying to tell her (charva) that she shouldnt be shagging loads of people at her age etc etc.. she might take it in but once she see's her friends again she'd laugh and take no notice. I wonder what the outcome would be if my parents found out..

Re: I need some advice here.. my sister is only 14..

Get her to post on this board when she is 16

I know of her m8's, but none of them are the type i want to know very well as you either have to be shaging one of them, or you're an outcast that they spit on if you know what i mean. the type who sit in bus stops waiting for the next person to walk past so they can have a laugh at the hat they're wearing or the shoes on their feet.

as for having to just sit back and let her ruin her life, i don't value that advice much at all I know you say you had a similar problem but I'm not comfortable sitting back and letting her get on with it.

At the age of 14 i wouldnt expect anyone to have been shagging lads without protection and having a pregnancy test. It's one thing having sex but if she's not even using protection half the time then I feel i have to do something.

As for kicking the shit out of her boyfriend, it will happen eventually. It's not like he can goto the police and complain that he got kicked in for having sex with a 14 year old. He's a total gimp too.. left school before he did his exams and he just works a shitty job now.

lots of people feel they need that esp at that age. I did, and im not ashamed to admit it - i cant change the past etc.

maybe she is trying to be sensible going to the doctors to ask for the pill/injection whatever, so i wouldnt worry too much, i would be worried if she wasnt going at all.

no need to go mad and tell parents, but if you think they would react in a helpful positive way (seems your not too happy) then tell them, and just check she is being careful. If your parents are likely to overreact, just keep this something between you and her.

If you would probably find it difficult to talk about, write her a letter, explaining why you are concerned, ask her a few questions (nowt very personal - she will be embarrased enough that you know) and ask her to write back, maybe making it clear that if she doesnt put your mind at rest so to speak, then you will have to tell your mam/dad. remember, you must have went through some crazy phase at one time, this is just hers. Most people grow out of it though, and maybe you making a big deal out of it would make her rebel even more.

Its nothing to worry about, most people who were my mates, including me have been through that type of thing. Look how i turned out :angel2:

Let her know you will be there for her most importantly, if she needs to talk or gets in any bad situations, as things like pregnancy whatever can be hard to break to your rents, so if she is even in a situation like that she knows she has you to talk to. Even if you dont agree with what she is doing, just be there to support her, but if any of it crosses the line, dont be afraid to get some advice, if not from your parents, some young peoples services can help.

It may upset you to see her acting that way, but you can't let it get in the way of you being her big brother, just let her know that you are there, and that most importantly, you care.

good luck, and remember, not all charvas turn out bad
(well, purvy was a charva )

the pic is me as a charv, i know this pic will haunt me, but its funny - come on check out the fringe and the polo sport top!

SEW THE DIRTY MARES FLAPS UP

Get yourself down to Wallsend Fourm, Monday to Fridaty after Trisha but before Neighbours starts & you will be shocked at how young some of mothers are. 14 some women from Howden are droping the 3rd kid out by then man.

i dont think it's fair to put all of this on a message board

its humiliating

i feel sorry for her because you've just put half her life on the internet