office pranks...

www.meatspin.com

We used to do loads at my old place,

my personal favourite was wrapping the bosses car with pallet wrap, he was gutted

or the day the office junior started we put washing up liquid in the kettle, she shit herself when it started bubbling over

Office dares were always good fun - i'm sure there's an email with loads in

the 1 we hated most was "call everyone Dave for 30 mins" - not good working in a IT Support office on the phones.... "Hi, this is Phil from Torex, can i speak to Dave..." etc..etc...

when i worked in kwik save we used to do loads of stuff.

Tubs of custard on the roller shutters, so it would fall on whoever opened them, if someone was putting bottles of pop out we'd run past them and slit the bottle with our knives so its squirted all over them, just stupid stuff like that

my personal fave was when i'd break into peoples lockers, and squirt sauce in their shoes, then lock the locker again behind me

Cunt

nice to see this was a national kwik save thing, I did a summer working for them in leeds when I was at uni, and some of the stuff that used to go on was pretty nuts.

remember one kids getting pallet wrapped to the pallet then driven round the shop on a forklift while still attached to the pallet.

same kid got pallet wrapped again and shut in a freezer while the manager sat on the lid for a good few minutes.

facing up at the end of the day was fucking lethal coz any tin that we found that was damaged were considered fair game for hoying at someone's ankles as hard as you could under the shelves. If you were lucky you'd get about half a seconds notice as you heard this whizzing sound coming towards you, then bang, tin on yer ankle.

someone getting dumped headfirst in the big metal multipack crisp cages was a funny one.

Google request a brochure and fill in your bosses details, work addy ect and low and behold a few days later a nice pile of mail :chill:

First job in an electronics factory -
Sending newbies to the stores for a flux capacitor etc.

super glueing peoples tools the desk.


call centre jobs -
swapping keyboard usb cables around with someone elses PC so when they typed it would do shit on there mates screen and vica versa.


There's loads, probs why i never hold down a job. I'm too busy horsing around all day.

this has to be the best , a pile of junkmail

The list of jokes played on that poor fucker is endless. I look forward to regular updates from Michael.

Vintage.

depends what you define as a pile and what type you go for

That's border line bullying hahaha

Haha I've had this in my Outlook for years..

ONE-POINT DARES
================
1.Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

5. While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors open.

6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."

8. Don't use any punctuation.


9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.


10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.


THREE-POINT DARES
=================
1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.


6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.

7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.

8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any pornography web sites.



FIVE-POINT DARES
==================
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".


4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.

7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"

9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."


10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash biscuit with your fist.

11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

14. Hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll call you tonight".