The difference between men and women

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  1. Ferox

    Ferox Shamanic Tea

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    The difference between men and women

    In light of Basic Instints Female Guiness World Records thread.....

    ....The difference between men and women... how true??

    NICKNAMES
    If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will Call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes.

    EATING OUT
    When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each Throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
    When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    MONEY
    A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1
    for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    BATHROOMS
    A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

    ARGUMENTS
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
    argument.

    CATS
    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    FUTURE
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A
    Man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    SUCCESS
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    MARRIAGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

    DRESSING UP
    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

    NATURAL
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    OFFSPRING
    A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in his house.

    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in Two people remembering the same thing.

    What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.

    What a man hears: C'MON. blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,
    blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, NOW
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  3. Dan Hawkins

    Dan Hawkins $5 $5

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    :lol: :lol:

    This could turn into Boys Vs Girls Wednesday ;)
  4. Jess C

    Jess C Tookie

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    :lol: :lol: some of that is so not true! Can tell a man wrote it :p
  5. loopyloosy

    loopyloosy Registered User

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    Re: The difference between men and women

    i hate that thats true :( no washing ever gets done. we couldnt go out the other night coz he had nowt to wear. i should have gone without him. :lol:
  6. linzi

    linzi Registered User

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    yeah u can def tell its from a mans point

    n dan your well femiine at frans u were frantcally searching for hair stuff cos noone could see your hair the way it was :lol: ;)
  7. Ferox

    Ferox Shamanic Tea

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    Re: Re: The difference between men and women

    If you read carefully, what a man actually hear's is "C'com, you and me, on the floor, no clothes, now" :lol: :lol: :lol:
  8. loopyloosy

    loopyloosy Registered User

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    Re: Re: Re: The difference between men and women

    yeah, i know :( sometimes i just wish he would do his washing.
  9. Dan Hawkins

    Dan Hawkins $5 $5

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    I take pride in my appearance! Hair is MOST important!

    P.s Bought some Wella Elastic Plastic in superdrug and done my hair in the window :D
  10. linzi

    linzi Registered User

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    bless you

    wella elastic plastic never heard of that must be new
  11. Dan Hawkins

    Dan Hawkins $5 $5

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    Its mint :eek: Does the job and doesn't take 7 1/2 weeks to get fully out your hair like DAX
  12. linzi

    linzi Registered User

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    7 1/2 weeks thats canny long like :lol:

    bit of wax does me right n the old hairspray u cant fall of :)
  13. Cookee

    Cookee Registered User

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    Love this one :lol: :lol: Soooo true
  14. mentalbarter

    mentalbarter Registered User

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    Re: The difference between men and women

    :lol:

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