Ask Mr Kuhnt

Dear Mt Khunt there is a girl in the local boozer who i think keeps eyeing me up but we're good friends and i'm unsure on making a move incase i ruin our friendship.......can you help me please?

MR. KUHNT... i can't get past the end boss on level 7 of sonic the hedgehog on the megadrive. can you help?????

PIERRE...LAY ON THE CHARMS MY FRIEND. ASK HER WHAT SHE IS DOING AT THE WEEKEND. IF SHE REPLIES;

"nothing"

THEN SIMPLY ASK HER IF SHE FANCIED DOING SOMETHING. I CAN GARAUNTEE SHE WILL SAY YES BECAUSE YOU HAVE PUT HER ON THE SPOT AND SHE WONT BE ABLE TO SAY NO OR ELSE SHE WILL SEEM LIKE A RUDE IDIOT AND SHE DOESNT WANT THAT.

ONCE YOU HAVE HER OUT AND ITS JUST YOU AND HER, THEN YOU NEED TO BE VERY SELF DEPRECATING AND LAUGH AT HER JOKES.

IF YOU FIND THAT SHE ISNT BUYING INTO YOUR CHARMS/MOVES MAY I SUGGEST YOU USE SOME ROHYPNOL TO GET HER IN THE SACK.

ALUN...

YOU NEED TO LAY OFF THE MAGIC MUSHROOMS.

THERE IS NO LEVEL 7 IN SONIC THE HEDGEHOG.

thanx MR KUHNT i'll give that a try.

Dear MR KHUNT


I'm starting to find you strangely attractive. Is this wrong?

Hi Kuhnt

Ive heard if Hemorrhoid cream is used on the eyes it can reduce swelling and make us look younger.

Do you recommend any brands?

is it true bees are just fat wasps?

YES STEPHEN. IT IS WRONG.

PREPARATION H IS THE KEY MR BIN. YOU WILL FIND THAT YOUR EYES WILL LOOK TEN YEARS YOUNGER IN NO TIME AT ALL.

PERHAPS YOU WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO POST A STEP BY STEP PICTURE GUIDE ON HOW YOUR TREATMENT WENT.

I AM SURE OTHER MEMBERS OF NUCASTLE FORUMS WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU SMEAR PREPARATION H ON YOUR EYES.

DONT BE ABSURD. BEE'S ARE NOT FAT WASPS.

WELL THIS IS SOMETHING I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT BUT I WILL TRY MY BEST TO GIVE YOU ADVICE WHICH I BELIEVE MAYBE BENEFICIAL.

FIRST ALL YOU NEED A GOOD USERNAME WHICH IS CATCHY AND INSTANTLY MEMORABLE.

SECONDLY I SUGGEST DOING MARKET RESEARCH AND SEEING WHAT OTHER ALTER EGO'S ARE LIKE AND HOW THEY ARE MARKETED.

ONLY THEN, CAN YOU GO INTO THE PROCESS OF CREATING YOUR OWN ALTER EGO.

I always thought dieing of carbon monoxide poisining from turning a car engine on inside a garage was the best way to commit suicide, obviously not.

MOVING TO BRIDGEND IS THE ONLY WAY TO COMMIT SUICIDE. YOU CAN ASK THE LOCAL EMO COMMUNITY TO HELP WITH YOUR DEATH.

dear mr kuhnt

if a wasp flys into a moving car and doesnt land on anything (lets say the car is doing 60mph) does the wasp have to continue to fly forward at the same speed of the car, to prevent the back windscreen of the car from coming forward and slamming into the wasp? or is there another explanation?

Dr Mr Kuhnt


If you were to fill a bath half full of cold water & half full of hot water what temprature would the water be?

Why ask Kuhnt that when everyone knows its going to be 34C (93.2F) ???

IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHETHER OR NOT THE WINDOWS ARE OPEN. IF THE WINDOWS ARE OPEN THEN THE WASP WILL SIMPLY GET THROWN ABOUT THE CAR UNTIL IT GETS SPLATTED OR GETS SUCKED BY OUT.

IF ONLY ONE WINDOW IS OPEN THEN THE CHANCES ARE THE WASP WILL SIMPLY REGAIN ITS COMPOSURE AND SIMPLY ADJUST TO THE CHANGE IN PRESSURE.